Fail.
My heart is so uneasy, so unsettled. I’ve never been at a point in my life in which I’m not legitimately working toward a “goal”, or what I think to be one. There’s always been school, graduation, and getting certified. Now what? I’ve been so focused on my worldly gains and forgetting my eternal ones.
God is testing me, no doubt. My patience. My contentment. My peace. All of which are IN Him…or should be. I’m having a hard time grasping that thought. I think it’s easy for us to measure WHO WE ARE by our successes and failures. If we are ‘succeeding’, life is ‘good’ (I mean really...how many facebook statuses have you seen like this?!); if we are ‘failing’, life plainly sucks. What about just living as God’s child? What about seeing the big perspective, knowing that no matter what we do, we are here to be and make disciples? Failures or some level of steadiness do not mean that we can push the pause button and wait until God throws us something 'better'. It means he works through them. We have purpose even if we feel as if we aren't necessarily going anywhere. Difficult? Extremely.
Crazy? but, I’m beginning to thank God for allowing me to be at a place like this. Otherwise? I wouldn’t stop and focus on my purpose for this life. I don’t want my identity to be found in my vocation. I want my identity to be found in Christ which can be displayed through my vocation.
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