I saw Jesus yesterday....

....because he is in people. 

I saw him in a girl named Julia. 

Our God is a personal God. Someone who knows what its like to be human, to feel what we feel. To be hurt, to be broken, to be lonely, to be happy, to feel hopeful, to be encouraged. A personal God who walks with his children, hand in hand. And that's exactly what it felt like. 

God is also humorous. I tend to forget that he is always watching me, knowing what I need, when I need it. Then, out of nowhere, I get smacked in the face. He gives us people when he knows that we so desperately need them. When he knows that we need a smile, a pick-me-up. When he knows that we are down on our knees in need of someone who knows what its like to walk in our shoes. He has his timing down pat. 

Yesterday, I was encouraged. In the midst of brokeness, my hand was held. I was understood, I was praised, I was...all of the above. For Jesus, for Julia, I am so extremely thankful. 

I never understood what it meant that Jesus was 'in people' until a college course. But, he is. He's in that lady who serves you coffee. He's in that man who changes your oil. He's in that lady behind you in line. He's in that crying baby in church. Think about that the next time you are served, the next time you pass a stranger. 

....whatsoever you have done to the least of these (Matthew 25:40).

Christians- hypocrites, sinners, or both?

I just got out of bed to write this because this is literally what just popped into my mind & I know how to express it. right now. 


You know what drives me insane? Hypocrites.


You know what drives me even more insane? The fact that I am one. 


But, what really, really just absolutely fries my gourd......the perception that Christians are, slash have to be, perfect. (I guess this is all stemming from the fact that my little ears keep hearing, "Christians are hypocrites.")


Here's the thing that makes someone a Christian- knowing he/she is a sinner, in desperate need of a Savior. That was the whole stinkin' point of Jesus coming to this earth, being born, dying, rising. Otherwise, pointless. Christ was thee atonement for our SINS...plural, happening more than once, on a day-to-day occasion, on purpose, on accident, to loved ones, to enemies, for selfish reasons, for personal gain. 


I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing (Galatians 2:21). 


Jesus came because he wanted to get rid of the old way of the law that said we had to do something to receive eternal life. If this were the case, the old way, then there would be no way in heck that we would receive eternal life because we can't keep the law; it's not possible by our sinfully-human-selves. Thus, our sin would have damned us. For good. Forever. 


BUT, praise be to Jesus, that he DID come to die, to be that atonement for us. He saw that we were going to be sinners....all the dang time. He knew that, and that's why he wanted to save us. So, he did. 


Botton line. I'm a sinner. And I'm good at it. Thoughts go through my mind that are dirty, awful, and downright disgusting. I'm a hypocrite. I read God's Word and somewhere deep down there is a desire for me to follow it. But, clouding that desire, is my human desire to go against it. I go to church and profess my faith. But, I leave church and go right on sinning. 


Sure, true faith is love expressed through 'deeds or good works'. And I pray that all of God's children strive to do so. 


But, at the end of the day, as I'm about to lay my head on my pillow, I am comforted. Not in the fact that I am a sinner or that I mess up. But in the fact that I, this girl who shoves her heavenly Father to the side day in and day out, I, my dear friends, have a Savior! 

the Power is in the Word.

"It is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of goodwill.....

.....But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached." (Philippians 1:15,18)

Paul's imprisonment meant that others wanted to talk about this Jesus guy in the spotlight. They wanted the attention, the fame. Others, ones with pure motives, wanted to partner with Paul and proclaim Jesus out of love.

The church is divided today. Many interpreters, many interpretations. What a turn off to the outsider. I know that if I didn't grow up in the faith, knowing Jesus, I would be really confused by all the differences in denominations, etc. and think it was super odd that there's so many ways that Jesus is viewed, how he should be worshipped, and how much stinkin' water to use when baptizing. (Ps...I still don't understand all of the differences).

Man isn't what makes Scripture, Scripture. God is and God does. He is the Word. Sure, some of us might have it messed up, but you know what....God doesn't expect us to have all the answers or get everything just right. He purposely doesn't answer all of our questions in Scripture because that's where faith comes in.

What's gonna matter in the end is belief in Jesus Christ as Savior. Bottom line....When the Word is read, Christ is preached. God holds the power and he speaks to people through his words, not man's!.....All Scripture is God-breathed (2 Timothy 3:16).

I leave you with a prayer that Jesus himself prayed for you to his Father....

"I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. For them I sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified." (John 17:14-19)

God's plan in Jesus.

As I sit here, alone, on a friday night in my homey little apartment, I'm in a better mood than I would be under these normal circumstances. (ps- I'm sick, so it's good for me to have a night to myself, relaxing). What's making it better is the lit Christmas tree, the peaceful sound of Christmas tunes, a few scattered decorations (thanks to my momma), and the array of Christmas movies that my DVR is set to record. Of course, as cliche as it is, everyone "loves this time of year". Apart from the presents, get-togethers (of which I've already had quite a few) with friends, mass amount of baked goodies, and lights, I love this time of year, this holiday, for a different reason.

I love it for the, for lack of a better term, advertisement of Jesus. For the talk of him, for the joy in celebrating his birthday, for the in and outs of the Christmas story, for the constant mention of Jesus.

I think that's why people think it would be so sweet to be/have Christmas all year long, to feel the way I feel right now. What would that look like? For people, myself, to be just a bit more excited than normal because of all of the love that we feel before, during, and after Jesus' birthday!

But, here's the thing. We are always in a state after Jesus' birthday. Because it happened. We are able to look back at it.

I've heard this song before, Mary Did You Know, but it wasn't until I heard it again last night and really, really listened to the lyrics that it just melted my heart. This little baby boy was born our Savior. Ponder on these lyrics with me:

Mary, did you know that your baby boy would some day walk on water?
Mary, did you know that your baby boy would save our sons and daughters?
Did you know that your baby boy has come to make you new?
This child that you've delivered will soon deliver you.
Mary, did you know?


Mary, did you know that your baby boy would give sight to a blind man?
Mary, did you know that your baby boy would calm the storm with his hand?
Did you know that your baby boy has walked where angels trod?
When you kiss your little baby, you've kissed the face of God.
Mary did you know?


The blind will see
The deaf will hear
The dead will live again
The lame will leap
The dumb will speak
The praises of the Lamb 


Mary, did you know that your baby boy is Lord of all creation?
Mary, did you know that your baby boy will one day rule the nations?
Did you know that your baby boy is heaven's perfect Lamb?
The sleeping child you're holding is the Great I Am.

Doesn't this just make you see Jesus in a new light? It shows how human he was, being a little baby, but yet being God, being so powerful and able.

Jesus being born was planned before eternity just like our births were. God knew what he was doing. In Ephesians 1:5-14 (The Message) we are told:

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"Long, long ago he decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ (what pleasure he took in planning this!). He wanted us to enter into the celebration of his lavish gift-giving by the hand of his beloved Son.

Because of the sacrifice of the Messiah, his blood poured out on the altar of the Cross, we're a free people- free of penalties and punishments chalked up by all our misdeeds. And not just barely free, either. Abundantly free! He thought of everything, provided for everything we could possibly need, letting us in on the plans he took such delight in making. He set it all out before us in Christ, a long-range plan in which everything would be brought together and summed up in him, everything in deepest heaven, everything on planet earth.

It's in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, he had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose he is working out in everything and everyone.

It's in Christ that you, once you heard the truth and believed it (this Message of your salvation), found yourselves home free- signed, sealed, and delivered by the Holy Spirit. This signet from God is the first installment on what's coming, a reminder that we'll get everything God has planned for us, a praising and glorious life."

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In Christ, everything makes sense. I end with a poem:

"If our greatest need had been information,

God would have send us an educator.

If our greatest need had been technology, 

God would have sent us a scientist.

If our greatest need had been money, 

God would have sent us an economist.

If our greatest need had been pleasure, 

God would have sent us an entertainer.

But our greatest need was forgiveness,

so God sent us a Savior."  

~Roy Lessin

constant vs. feeling

feeling

-often unreasoned opinion or belief

I often let my feelings rule who I am, what I do, what I think. They go up, they go down, and I go where they go. I lean on them. I think them to be true. I think them to be solid. I believe them. I dwell on situations in which my feelings take over. I over-analyze because my feelings try to take precedence.

Basically, because of letting my feelings take over, I'm a mess. I become scatter-brained, irrational, and, simply, stupid.



constant

-marked by firm steadfast resolution or faithfulness; exhibiting constancy of mind or attachment.

There aren't many constants in life. Death is one. I can't think of many others. I'd like to think a certain part of my life that I've lived could have been constant. It's not. It changed. My home has changed. My friends have changed. My job has changed. My church has changed. My feelings have changed. But, you know what hasn't changed? God & his Word.


I take a whole lot of comfort in the fact that Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever (Hebrews 13:8). He's not changin. He is solid. He is gracious and loving and forgiving. Just because my feelings go up and down, his feelings toward me aren't changin! Just because I screw him over, doesn't mean he's gonna screw me over. Just because I forget to acknowledge him, thank him, doesn't mean he's gonna shut the door in my face!

Instead of leaning so much on my feelings, I pray that I can learn to lean on the solidity of God's Word. It is truth! It is solid! And it's not goin anywhere! I want to own up to the fact that my feelings can take a backseat to the truth of the God. I want to believe what God has to say over what I think my feelings are trying to say.

so temporary...

As I sit here and write this, I ponder on the phone call that I received a few hours ago. My 'grandma' (not blood related) is probably going to meet Jesus tonight. Bad fall, old age...they don't mix well.

It, of course, makes me think about our life on earth and how temporary it is. How this is not my 'home'. It is only for now. Heaven is my home, where I belong.

I decided to pull out the book of Galatians, and I ran across the freedom that we have in Christ and life in Him!
The Message describes it as this:

"What actually took place is this: I tried keeping rules and working my head off to please God, and it didn't work. So I quit being a "law man" so that I could be God's man. Christ's life showed me how, and enabled me to do it. I identified myself completely with him. Indeed, I have been crucified with Christ. My ego is no longer central. It is no longer important that I appear righteous before you or have your good opinion, and I am no longer driven to impress God. Christ lives in me. The life you see me living is not "mine," but it is lived by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I am not going to go back on that. Is is not clear to you that to go back to that old rule-keeping, peer-pleasing religion would be an abandonment of everything personal and free in my relationship with God? I refuse to do that, to repudiate God's grace. If a living relationship with God could come by rule-keeping, then Christ died unnecessarily."

Gahhh the freedom that we have in Christ! I recently came upon a person very dear to me who thought that, in order to get to heaven, we must 'be good, do good things.' How discouraging/ discomforting/all of the above. To think that I would ever have to be good enough to get to heaven. To think that its something I do. To think that every day I would wake up telling myself, 'Mindy, you must be on your best behavior today if you want that eternal life.' That is not freedom. That is not living a life because of God's grace. That is living a guilty, convicted, no good life in which there is no escape!

Good news, ladies and gents! Because of faith in Christ, we have total FREEDOM! The whole purpose of Jesus' death was because of my sin, your sin. He literally died the most sinful human being, not because he himself ever sinned, but because he carried all of my crap on his shoulders!! How awesome that he made that sacrifice for me, for you. Once for all!

I bring up my grandma because I think of how many people may pass without that freedom. To all of you who have lived your lives/ are currently living under guilt, not feeling good enough for our Lord, under the impression from other people that you have to DO SOMETHING for God, to get into heaven, I apologize on their behalf.

Be free! Know that we have a LOVING God who knows that it is not even possible for us to be good enough for him because of our human nature. That's why he saved our lil booties! He gives us his love, his forgiveness, his grace every single day because he knows that we need it and because he knows that it gives us freedom from everything that tends to weigh us down.

"..who loved me and gave himself for me."

the little things

God just makes me smile. He is soooo good & so faithful. Today was one of those rejuvenating days. To the core, I was replenished. In conversation, in hugs, in laughter, in smiles, in the sight of giggling little girls, in words of wisdom, in prayer, in hope, in goodbyes, in dirty diapers (yes, dirrrrty), in new friendships, in old lasting friendships, over coffee, over lunch, over dinner. He knew today was needed and he provided me with it.

I don't have too much to complain about but I tend to forget that. That simple little list was enough to make my week. It's the simple things. And God gives them to me. He knows who to place in my life when he wants, he knows what connections he wants to make, he knows how to reveal himself in the simplest things. Lately, he never ceases to amaze me.

made perfect. in weakness.

Paul (an apostle called by God) suffered. He had been in prison, been flogged, beaten, stoned, shipwrecked. He had been in danger from rivers, bandits, his own countrymen. He went without sleep, without food, without water. He had been cold and naked. Amidst all of this, he pleaded, on more than one occasion, to the Lord to take it away from him.

The Lord's response?

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

Paul's response?

"Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

I don't know about you, but I can most definitely say that if I had went through all of the above suffering that Paul went through, it would probably be reeeeeeally hard for me to boast about my weaknesses. Paul had previously said that he would not boast about himself, except about his weaknesses. The whole point of his boasting was "for Christ's sake".

I guess that's what I'm about to do. I take no credit. I want God to have it. For making me feel broken. So broken. For making me feel weak. For making me feel lonely. For making me literally cry out to him.

The Lord's response (written above) is one I have heard over and over and over again. But, I do not think it was until just now, just recently, that I have really experienced what that means. I have witnessed  God's power working through me because of these broken times. It's very easy, when life is going easy, to not depend on God for much because it feels as if he is already providing everything. For some reason, it takes brokeness, weakness, and loneliness for me to realize that I have no other choice but to lean on him. To depend on him. To trust him.

"For when I am weak, then I am strong." Strong in the Lord because he is first strong for me.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

music? (and coffee).

Aside from my heavenly Father, one super family, and some LEGIT friends, I have a love for music and coffee...maybe an addiction?


What is it about being able to connect with a certain song, under certain circumstances, for a certain period of time? Singing to yourself those certain lyrics over and over and over again because you feel them, you connect with them in a way that feels as if they are seeping through your skin, and they were basically written for you. 


Even though my boy Jake Gerald-Louis Griedl is probably thinkin that my music selection must broaden its horizons (and it has thanks to him) before I can express all of my love toward it, we have recently experienced, together, a new found love of thee Lecrae. Christian. Rap artist. Yes, those three words go very well together. Aside from Jake dancin his lil booty off to Killa & 40 Deep (which have pretty legit beats), there is this one song. 


Background.


"It's evident you run the show, so let me back down
You take the leadin role, and I'll play the background
I know I miss my cues, know I forget my lines
I'm stickin to your script, and I'm readin all your signs
I don't need my name in lights, I don't need a starring role
Why gain the whole wide world, if I'm just gonna lose my soul?
And my ways ain't purified, I don't live according to Your Word
I can't endure this life without Your wisdom being heard
So word to every dancer for a pop star
'Cuz we all play the background, but mine's a rockstar
Yeah, so if you need me I'll be staged right
Prayin the whole world would start embracin stage fright
So let me fall back, stop giving my suggestions
'Cuz when I follow my obsessions, I end up confessin
That I'm not that impressive, matter of fact I'm who I are
A trail of stardust leadin to the superstar"




I think I'm at a point in my life where I am finally starting to understand what it means to take the background. I don't need to be center stage. I didn't write my own script. I don't know where I'm going. I can't see my last scene.  


My Father does. For cryin out loud, he knew, before I was even conceived, where he was takin me on this craaazy journey of life!! How sweet that God is, and able to be, center stage on my behalf. I'm tired of tryin to pull it off by myself. I can't. 


"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps" Proverbs 16:9

OR

"We plan the way we want to live, but only God makes us able to live it" Proverbs 16:9 (the message)

Thanks God! Thanks for pushin me out of the leading role and you, yourself takin over!!

quenching.my.thirst.

this one's for you, my hailey jo!

quenching my thirst....."May God place a need, desire and ache deep within your soul that only the word can quench." When Hailey and I started our 'Haidy' (hehe) devo's....she wrote this in the front of my journal. It has stuck with me ever since.

We all have physical needs. Hunger. Thirst. Etc.

Even more, spiritual needs. Just like I can't survive without water, I can't survive without my heavenly Father. I can't survive this crazy, shattered, messed up world without knowing and owning who God is and who he wants me to be. His word. That's what quenches my thirst, my spiritual thirst, for him.

...demolish?

demolish..

-to break to pieces.

I will never forget attending chapel one morning. There was a guest speaker. His name, no clue. His purpose, no idea. All I will remember, forever, is that he stood up, showed us his Bible, and it was apparent that he was a man of God. Why? Because his Bible was demolished, and that's exactly what he called it. He had, and still was, in the process of breaking it to pieces. He knew what it said. He knew who it was written to. He knew it had purpose in his life.

From that moment on, as oxymoron as it is, I was envious of him. I wanted to demolish my own Bible. I wanted it to appear to be torn, spilled with ink, almost ripped to shreds.

Moses, in Exodus 34:29ish, after coming from the presence of God, was radiant. He was literally shining. People noticed. And they thought it to be weird. What does that look like for me today? When I come from the presence of God, spending time with him in prayer, diggin in his Word, am I shining? Is it obvious that I just came from spending some legit time with my Father? I only pray that my time with him rubs off onto others. As was once said...I may be the only Bible some people read.