unresponsive.

I really love tearin' apart a word. This one, unresponsive, is as follows:

-not reacting or responding to an action

A good friend has really opened my eyes lately to myself being nothing & God being stinkin' everything. Again, I fail. Yes, God is not in physical, human form. But, I sure am ignoring his 'actions' all around me. Maybe not ignoring because I see them existing, but not acting on giving credit where credit is due.


In my attempt to 'respond' to his legitness (if that's not a word, it is now), here are some of his recent moments:

my afternoon sun
meeting and befriending a complete stranger
an affirming text from a far away friend(s)
genuine conversations over coffee and scones
a teen opening up and sharing his story
loving hunger
listening, supportive parents
true colors being shown
a brother who can just 'drop by'
a friend walking in my exact shoes
learning the name of a front desk employee
picture messages of 'my' babies
2 1/2 hour long skype video chats


I sit here and think of some recent sucky moments. For some reason, I'm surprised when I loathe in them. But, it is they that I very much deserve. However, these Jesus moments, these little tiny moments that God is so graciously pouring out to me, they are the ones in which I should be surprised, in which I should be thankful. It's these moments that are so undeserving. But, because God is so good, he throws them in my face for me to experience with the hope that I give him credit.

God has me. I can't give my life to him because it's already his.
But, I can want God. I can have a say in how much I want to have him. That's where there is a difference.

I long to respond to his greatness. I'm tired of slacking, tired of getting away with cheap grace. I take advantage of the fact that I'm so easily forgiven. I want my life to be consumed by this man. I want to keep seeing him around me, keep giving him all of the glory that is so much already his. He's just letting me in on it. That, my friends, is why he's so legit.