10 things.

A loving church family.
Truth.
Quiet Time.
Suffering.
Friends.
Family.
Uncertainty.
New Friendships.
Being Understood.
Good Team.

Last night at a Bible Study I was asked to write down a list of what I'm thankful for. After some discussion and hearing a few people name some of their 'thankfuls', I realized that mine was definitely not typical. Sure, some of the things on this list would be expected...loving church family, family, friends.

But, it then dawned on me how much God is working in my life. He always has and he always will, but its just so apparent here lately. And, its because of this list. Its because of quiet time, its because of suffering, its because of uncertainty.

Tonight when I was having my Jesus time, I asked some of my closest friends for their prayer requests. In the midst of writing, I thanked the Lord for the suffering of one of them. I thanked him because I knew that it would enable her to trust in him. When else would he prove his glory more? Not when things were going perfect, but when he presented her with a time in which she really needed to lean on him and know that he would take care of it. He always does.

Uncertainty. Me and this word have a love-hate relationship. I love it because its so dang exciting. I hate it because its so dang scary. There's a thrill in knowing that I trust God to shove something in my face. To show me what he wants, when he wants. To lead me to it, to make it clear, and for him to follow through. There's a sense of defeat when I think of my human self. My flesh. My ability to doubt that God will follow through. That he will leave me stranded. That I will be lost, not knowing where to go. But, that's exactly it. My human self is not able to make sense of what God is doing/ will do in the near future. It sounds absolutely ridiculous, not thought through, not logical. God sees the big picture, though, and it makes sense to him. He cannot be limited or contained. He can work in ways that are bigger than me, bigger than my goofy plans for my temporary life. He can choose to take me into valleys, onto mountains, around twists, around turns.

In the meantime, I will keep making lists. Lists of my thankfuls.